I have the strangest cell phone

My phone is absolutely weird. I should start by explaining that someone slipped into my home and put my old phone back into my pants and then it went through the washing machine. (It was probably a dark plot by the federal government.) My wife says I left it there, but that would make the phone's destruction my fault, so it was the definitely the government.

I went to see if I could get an early upgrade and found out that was not in the cards. So they set me up with a cheap "fill in" until my contract is up for renewal later this year. I got the phone, and noticed my children playing office in the AT&T store, I whipped out my phone to take a quick picture and found that the camera didn't work. I asked the representative that helped me what the problem was and he informed me my new phone did not have a camera!

Later, as we were on the way home, I found that our sing a long with Hannah Montana kept being interrupted. There was this strange sound ringing and I was sure something terrible had happened to my car. I drove straight to the mechanic to let him listen, at first nothing, and then there it was! The man had a strange look on his face and said, "Sir, I believe someone is trying to reach you on your cell phone." I looked at the phone and sure enough my wife was calling. I believe my mechanic is psychic, because the phone didn't play a tune from a movie or anything but he still knew.

My wife wanted me to pick some stuff up in a part of town I wasn't familiar with so I decided to use the GPS in my phone to find the address. I couldn't find that option as I was driving and, you guessed it the beep was back!

So after I ran my wife's errand, I went back to the cell phone place and they revealed the root of my most strange day. My new phone is unusual, it doesn't have a camera. It doesn't have a million and two rings. It can't cook dinner or do my taxes. ALL IT DOES IS SEND AND RECEIVE CALLS!

What will they think of next?